Where do I begin?
As a child, with her recognizing my extreme shyness and shielding me?
As a teen, with me recognizing her shyness about certain things because I’m still waiting for THE talk!
As a young adult, when I questioned the existence of our Creator and about everything else while she lovingly, patiently walked with me through that “dark” stage, knowing all along, between she and God, I would return to my faith.
As a middle aged adult, when our roles began to ever so slightly shift but she so often kept trying to keep seeing me as a child although I may have spent most of my afternoon as a problem solver sitting in the jail’s holding cell with a probationer.
Today is where I begin.
Mother and I had shared a spiritual journey since the Fall of 2002. God walked with us every step of the walk, blessings were bountiful. Mother was in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s when diagnosed in April 2003, shortly after Jeanette and I had taken her to the Olive Garden to celebrate her 80th birthday.
Did she know me then? Absolutely!
For those of you who shared some of that time with us, you know we traveled up and down the roads of Brazos and surrounding counties, spending a lot of time in downtown Bryan, reminiscing about the “old” days.
You know we were Dairy Queen regulars because of her vanilla ice cream cone addiction, some of you even shared those cones with us.
We would drive through McDonald’s for senior cokes, sometimes hitting as many as three McDonald’s in an afternoon.
You knew you were welcome in her home because of that smile – O, that smile was the outward embrace of her heart loving you.
We would lie in bed laughing about so many different things. And when she would go to sleep, I would lightly stroke her hair or gently touch her face, trying to forever lock into my mind those moments so my memories would not fade as time moved forward from this day.
I spent countless hours and days and weeks and months and years answering her as she asked about so many of those she dearly loved. Finally, with time, the questions became less, perhaps partly because of memory loss, perhaps not.
And for those of us who were really lucky, we’ve got the memory of having received that special wink from her. She gave them sparingly. You had to work for it. But when she gave you her special wink, you knew she just gave you a little piece of her heart.
Did things change? Of course.
Did things get worse? Sure, but only in the last 6 or so months.
Did she still know and recognize me? Most of the time.
Did she still know and recognize Jeanette, Gordon, Tammy and Shannon? Most of the time.
Did she still talk? Just about all the time.
Could she understand her surroundings? Most of the time.
Could she feel joy, sadness and fear? Of course.
Did I bribe her with money to take 5 bites of food? You bet and she took exactly five bites and took my $20 bill.
Did I bribe her at times to take her medicine? You bet. I learned quickly she would look at me with some degree of impishness and a twinkle in her eye, take my $20 bill and then dismiss me without taking her medicine.
Could she hear your voice and have some recognition of who it was? Most of the time.
Could she tell me she didn’t like what I had cooked and could we please go get something else to eat? Absolutely! No question about that one.
I think what most folks don’t quite understand about Alzheimer’s is that the person is still there, still present, still wanting to hold on to life, still wanting to be held, still wanting to be loved, still wanting all the things we all want everyday. That’s all Mother wanted.
Did she know me when she began going Home? You bet. When I told her I loved her, she looked me right in the eyes with the most knowing, loving expression and I knew she was saying, “And I love you, too.”
God loaned Mother to me to care for her during this journey we shared. I took care of her the best and most loving way I could, always with God’s help. When He wanted her to come back home, I walked her to that bridge and God took her hand to travel the rest of the way.
So often Mother would ask me when she was going home?
On Friday morning, August 10, I held my Mother so close, kissed her a final goodbye and told her, “Momma, you’re going home now.”
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
The Unknown and the Unknowing
Where does one begin in this unknown and unknowing journey?
I begin August 10, 2007. It is with the deepest of love and respect that I have walked this journey with you, my dear sweet Mother. It is with this same deep love and respect that I now watch as you and God begin the final part of this journey. You are going Home and I am staying here. You have blessed my life. You have nurtured my spirit. God loaned you to me for a while. I did my best to take care of you for Him.
Winnie Elizabeth Jones Winslow
April 10, 1923 – August 10, 2007
April 10, 1923 – August 10, 2007
Winnie Elizabeth Jones Winslow, 84, of Bryan passed away Friday, August 10, 2007 at her home. Visitation for family and friends will be from 6 to 8:30 p.m. Wednesday, August 15 at Memorial Funeral Chapel in Bryan. Services will be at 10 a.m. Thursday, August 16 at Memorial Funeral Chapel. The Revs. Dolores Gilbreath Felker of Jonah Overboard Ministries of Houston and Marie Nutall of the New Jerusalem Missionary Baptist Church of Bryan will officiate. Interment will follow at Bryan City Cemetery.
A fifth generation Texan and Bryanite, Winnie was born in Bryan on April 10, 1923, to Horace Otto Jones and Agnes Elizabeth Kubicek Jones Messina. The first time her parents met, Horace was teaching at Goodson School and Agnes was one of his students. Winnie's father, an attorney who served as Brazos County Clerk and District Clerk, was also the Brazos County Surveyor whose surveys were used as the basis for all Brazos County maps. Her father died when she was 13 months old, and her mother later married Anthony "Tony" Joseph Messina. Winnie grew up on the Messina farm along the Brazos River near Smetana and had a special bond with her Grandpa Messina. Winnie's great-grandfather, John H. Jones Sr., and her great-great-grandfather, Dr. Thomas J. Wootton, and their families were among the early settlers of Brazos and Robertson Counties. On September 20, 1941, Winnie married Ben J. Winslow, who was serving as a medic in the U. S. Army, 2nd Medical Battalion. Prior to being sent to Omaha Beach on D-Day, Ben was stationed at Camp McCoy in La Crosse, Wis., where he was joined by Winnie and their daughter, Jeanette. After he was sent to Europe, Winnie and Jeanette returned to Bryan where they awaited his return. After his return and almost four years after Jeanette was born, they had another daughter, Joyce.
Winnie was educated at Smetana School, Stephen F. Austin High School and McKenzie-Baldwin Business College. She was office manager and accountant for her husband's commercial construction company and later retired from The Eagle. A devoted wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, Winnie was a lifelong student of various religions and philosophies. She was an avid reader, writer, genealogist and gardener. Winnie will be remembered most for her commitment to her spirituality, her engaging smile, her "green thumb," her special recipes and cooking skills, and, particularly in her last few months, giving her family and friends a special wink she learned from her daughter Jeanette.
Winnie was preceded in death by her husband, Ben J. Winslow; father, Horace Otto Jones; mother, Agnes Elizabeth Kubicek Jones Messina; stepfather, Anthony "Tony" Joseph Messina; and brother, Horace "Wayne" Weldon Jones.
Survivors include her daughters, Jeanette E. Winslow of Houston and Joyce E. Winslow of Bryan; three grandchildren, Gordon Boswell and wife, Debbie of Pearland, Tammy Boswell Kosub and husband, Kenneth, and Shannon Boggess Muse and husband, Jason, all of Katy; six great-grandchildren, Abigail and Blake Boswell of Pearland, Texas, Ashley and Kyle Kosub and Madison and Haley Muse, all of Katy, Texas; one brother-in-law, Jack E. Winslow and wife, Ruth, of Franklin, Texas; and numerous cousins, nieces and nephews.
Pallbearers are Jason Muse, Buddy Haney, Richard Hubacek, Doug McKee, Del Rowe and Billy Ebner.
The family would like to express its thanks to Hospice Brazos Valley in Bryan, with special thanks to Dinah, Emily and Laura for their love, kindness and compassion.
Memorials may be made to Hospice Brazos Valley in Bryan, 502 W. 26th St., Bryan, Texas 77803.
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