Seven months today - how quickly time passes and yet, at times, it seems only yesterday.
I continue to grieve for Mother, but I am aware I have begun the healing process. As I sat in my car at the cemetery late this afternoon waiting for the rain to stop, I thought how strange that such dichotomy - grieving and healing - can exist in the same person at the same time. And yet, thinking of it in terms of Alpha and Omega or the Known and Unknown - not strange at all.
There was actually something very comforting about sitting in the car with the gentle rain cleansing every surface it touched. And then the rain stopped. I got out of the car, released the seven balloons, and watched for several minutes as they floated higher and higher, and farther and farther away. I watched as five disappeared from my sight. As I watched the last two floating together even higher, I thought of our journey together. I felt Mother's presence and knew I had once again experienced that symbolic release with those balloons. We are at peace.
I love you, Mom.
I continue to grieve for Mother, but I am aware I have begun the healing process. As I sat in my car at the cemetery late this afternoon waiting for the rain to stop, I thought how strange that such dichotomy - grieving and healing - can exist in the same person at the same time. And yet, thinking of it in terms of Alpha and Omega or the Known and Unknown - not strange at all.
There was actually something very comforting about sitting in the car with the gentle rain cleansing every surface it touched. And then the rain stopped. I got out of the car, released the seven balloons, and watched for several minutes as they floated higher and higher, and farther and farther away. I watched as five disappeared from my sight. As I watched the last two floating together even higher, I thought of our journey together. I felt Mother's presence and knew I had once again experienced that symbolic release with those balloons. We are at peace.
I love you, Mom.
3 comments:
I'm glad you can feel the healing. I love that you release those balloons. What a wonderful, symbolic gesture. It amazes me how it can seem like it was just yesterday and at the same time feel like it was an eternity ago.
i too love the symbolism of you releasing the balloons. it is very cool and heartfelt. i'm thinking of you joyce. thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
I lost my mom a week after you did. I feel like I am slowly healing through my grief and it is indeed a sweet release.
I love the idea of the balloons. I can imagine the feeling you get when you let them go.
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